Scrapbooking a Secret

He got drunk in Little Chute. He took the train to Menasha where Emily, his ex-wife, had a store and he waited outside for her to close up shop. He grabbed her. She was screaming as he put the gun to her head. He fired, but it didn't go off. He put the gun to her side and pulled the trigger but it still wouldn't fire. By then people were coming so he ran off.

The police caught him and put him in jail. He ended up with a disorderly conduct charge and a fee of only $10.00. He was angry because he and Emily had just gotten a divorce and her settlement was the household furnishings, the content of the vegetable garden and $200.00. He had to sell some of his properties to pay her. A lot of the properties were mortgages to different people for money that he drank away. The year was 1900.

And the drunk, angry man was my great-great-grandfather, Henry.

My great-grandfather, Lawrence, Henry's youngest son, never told this secret to his son, Constant, my paternal grandfather. Maybe he didn't know. His generation may have kept the secret. Interested in genealogy, my oldest sister uncovered this family secret. It was with different eyes that we viewed the picture of Henry seated in the ornate chair wearing his Civil War uniform.

Scrapbooking this photo without knowledge of his secret would have focused on an old soldier living his later years in the Milwaukee Veteran's Home. What a challenge to tell the real story and hope that future generations can somehow learn something about life and themselves. Life is not always perfect and our scrapbooks should show this reality.

Not All Secrets are Scandalous

A secret doesn't have to be something scandalous. In fact, some secrets are quite humorous and, therefore, fun to share.

Aunty Ethel's Christmas fruitcake that appears each year amidst the mocking stares and rolling eyes of nieces and nephews is actually the same cake...every year. The same exact cake.

Grandma Madeline's dusting cloths that have polished the old silver plate for decades are actually her mother's frayed underwear.

Daughter Sophia's gray hair began appearing at age 16 only to be covered with bottles of honey blonde.

Not all secrets should be shared

But there are those secrets that could cause hurt and harm if publicly exposed. Secrets about people who are still alive, about current events, or about sensitive matters, rather than those about people or events long gone, should most likely be journaled behind photos or concealed on hidden tags.

Uploading these layouts to online galleries without anonymity seems too risky. How much should be shared with the world when desiring to be honest in recording our family's history? Eating disorders, sexual abuse, and illicit love affairs may well be the reality of life and creating pages in our art journals or our All About Me albums can be therapeutic, but the little red flags over these issues should not be ignored.

How I've Scrapped Some Family Secrets

I scrapped the full story of my great-great-grandpa Henry to show my family the truth of, "There, but for the Grace of God, go I." I titled the page "Old Soldier" and used photos of actual Civil War guns as embellishments. I scattered rivets across the page to simulate gunshots.

At first glance, a person could not tell what secret I was sharing but a close observer of my actual page would quickly learn the long-lost tale.

In June of 2003, I scrapped a page about my maternal great-grandfather who was a clown in the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus. My journaling on that page included some basic facts about his clowning career and how the clowning gene was passed down to my children.

What I didn't include on the front of my page was some information that my parents discovered during a 1980's visit to the Circus World Museum in Baraboo, Wisconsin. Those facts exposed the secret that my great-grandpa was never married to my great-grandma and that he even had another family. When he came back to my mother's family in his old age, he never mentioned his other family. That journaling is penned on the back of my layout.

Exercise Good Judgment When Sharing Secrets

While I intend for my pages to reveal my life's truths as I understand them, I am well aware that sharing secrets can harm as well as help, so I think through the consequences of divulging such.

There is nothing to be gained from falsifying the memories of my family so that it appears our lives were only sweet and rosy. I have benefited from viewing raw and honest pages from my fellow scrapbookers and I applaud their honesty and openness. I have been challenged to look more deeply at my own pages and what is reflected there. So, as I lean close to your ear with cupped hand and whisper, "All are welcome to laugh or cry with me, even if some of my secrets stay secret," I hope you understand.

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