A Miscarriage Box

I had the flu and couldn't hold down liquids so my midwife asked that I check into the E.R. for an IV. I was 15weeks and 5days pregnant and I was so excited to see if they would give me an ultrasound so that I could find out if my baby was a boy or a girl. The ultrasound showed that the baby had died sometime in the last few days.

After the first week at home I found myself antsy. I felt empty. Where once there was life now there was nothing. I honestly didn't know what to do with myself, so I started cleaning my scrapbook room and found a scripture I had printed for some reason. "For the LORD comforts Zion; he comforts all her waste places and makes her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness will be found in her,    thanksgiving and the voice of song." Isaiah 51:3. The random piece of paper was so comforting. I knew that one day I would stop crying, but I didn't want to forget how I felt then. Where would I store this piece of paper? What about my previous ultrasound photos or the pile of sympathy cards that came in the mail? I didn't want to throw them away, because my baby was once alive, but I didn't want to scrapbook them either. So, I created a baby memorial box. I felt it was necessary because I just couldn't throw away a photo of any child of mine.

I took an old Internet CD case that came in the mail and picked out pretty papers. Since I chose not to find out the gender of the baby, I used mostly blue in case it was a boy, but was sure to add flowers as if it were a girl. Inside I put my pregnancy test, hospital bracelet, ultrasound photos (of the baby alive), and all the cards I received in the mail. I tied the box shut with coordinating ribbon to keep my other children out of the box. This box was for me. This box was about a baby I once carried, who kicked and flipped around inside me, but was no longer with me.

I know of many crafters who have experienced a miscarriage and I have no idea if they made a pregnancy or memorial box, or if they even scrapbooked it at all. I think it's a personal matter and a choice that only the mother should decide.