Journaling: When I was a kid the word, Dyslexia, was not known but there was something wrong with me. I can remember trying to read out loud in first grade and being scolded for saying “saw” instead of “was.” All through my school days I was called lazy, accused of not concentrating, and I am sure called “slow.” But it was Dyslexia. I endured summers of reading at home everyday, enduring embarrassment at having to always start the SRA reading series with orange (the lowest level) and never achieving purple (the highest color). I have suffered from a low self esteem and insecurity. I have struggled with wanting to be good at just one thing, just one. When I was pregnant, along with the prayers for a healthy child, I prayed for a child with no learning disabilities.
How have I coped? I can’t tell you. I have simply done it. I did finally learn that listening to books on tape were helpful, color coding, typing notes instead of hand writing them, and a small assortment of other tools have helped. I have pulled my self-esteem from the gutter but still I have moments where I feel stupid and slow and it embarrasses, frustrates and makes me angry. After 58 years I know I won’t be any better.
Dyslexia has not cure, no definite treatment. Scientists and teachers cannot even say what causes it. So we are left with trying all manner of treatments in the vein hope of finding something that works for us.
Now with Sean learning to read Grandma will once again struggle with reading aloud to him and spelling, wondering if he thinks I am stupid. And the cycle starts over. The only difference this time is that Grandma knows she isn’t stupid, but she will always have a hard time proving it some days.
Thank you for sharing this LO. It is very personal and touching. I too suffer from dyslexia and all you can do is learn to cope. Hats off to you for keeping strong.
Kristi
What a powerful LO. The title is awesome, the photo is powerful and the journaling is extremely heartfelt. Thank you for sharing such a vivid and personal LO.
Great LO! Where do I begin? The titlework is right on target, the photo shows the emotion you write about, your journaling is intense and very raw...it all just works together. Thanks for opening up my mind to a subject I know very little about.
