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Username Post: The purple hoodie        (Topic#330544)
3 Little Ladies 
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3 Little Ladies
Reg: 03-10-05

04-08-14 11:32 AM - Post#4105948    

This sad, lonely purple hoodie has been hanging in our laundry room for awhile. It gets moved from drying rack to drying rack, back and forth. Every time clothes get taken out of the laundry room, it remains? Why? It was a mystery to me, until today.

It's Lilly's hoodie, so I reminded her that it was in the laundry room. She said, "it's to small, so I told Camy she could have it." I asked Camy about it and she said, "I don't want it. I'll never wear it."

Camy always has weird reasons not to wear certain clothes so I started thinking. Did Lilly vomit while wearing it? No.. Then it came to me. Lilly was wearing it the day that we said goodbye to their dad. I don't know why they relate things that happen with the clothes they were wearing when it happened, but they do. I'll just pack the purple hoodie away for Abby. Maybe she'll wear it someday.



 
gingersfavorite 
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gingersfavorite
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04-08-14 11:47 AM - Post#4105950    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies

Awww thank you for sharing your stories of everyday life w/us Jen! I oftentimes wonder how you're doing with this or that specific thing, but never wanna ask. Can't imagine the emotional roller coaster...

 
scrappinmamma 
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scrappinmamma
Reg: 01-07-07

04-08-14 12:04 PM - Post#4105954    
    In response to gingersfavorite


Awww thank you for sharing your stories of everyday life w/us Jen! I oftentimes wonder how you're doing with this or that specific thing, but never wanna ask. Can't imagine the emotional roller coaster... Steph said..

I agree, with Steph, you seem so strong. Do you think it's really to small for Lili or she can't bear to wear it?

I just can't imagine how you are dealing with your feelings and then dealing with three beautiful girls feelings. You are a great mom to connect the dots.

 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
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04-08-14 12:28 PM - Post#4105956    
    In response to scrappinmamma



 
buttonscrapper 
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buttonscrapper
Reg: 03-15-03

04-08-14 12:44 PM - Post#4105960    
    In response to kaleidoscope



 
3 Little Ladies 
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3 Little Ladies
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04-08-14 01:05 PM - Post#4105964    
    In response to buttonscrapper

It's not to small for Lilly either. She didn't grow that much in 2 months.

It is hard. There have been several times they've wanted to share something with me, but they're afraid they'll upset me.

March 31st was my mom's birthday. Right before Camy went to bed she came up to me and gave me a hug and kiss and said, "goodnight." Then she started to turn around, but said "nevermind, goodnight." I told her to come back and tell me what was on her mind. She said, "I don't want to upset you." I always tell the girls that what they say might make me cry, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't share. Crying isn't a bad thing. It's one way to help us process our feelings. Then she said, "I want to sing happy birthday to Memaw with you." So, we went in her room and sang happy birthday to my mom.

I'm hurting, but it hurts me even more to see my girls hurting. Two very important people in their lives gone within just 3 months. Not fair!

 
Drama Mamas Mama 
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04-08-14 01:07 PM - Post#4105966    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies

No, it's not fair. I admire your strength and honesty in dealing with it all.

 
boysmom 
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boysmom
Reg: 09-28-05

04-08-14 01:51 PM - Post#4105972    
    In response to Drama Mamas Mama

Hugs Jen. You are so strong and wise, which makes you able to be there for your girls and help them. I hope you have people there for you as well.

 
Grandma to 3 
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Grandma to 3
Reg: 06-15-10

04-08-14 02:34 PM - Post#4105976    
    In response to boysmom



You are a much stronger person than I ever hope to be. I admire you for handling this as well as you are. Tears aren't a bad thing, as you've said, they are a cleanse. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.



 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
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04-08-14 02:58 PM - Post#4105982    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies

They say a joy shared is a joy doubled and a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved. And it's very true.
Something happy feels even better when you can share that happiness with someone.
And while it still hurts, when you share your hurts with someone else who sympathizes it does help because you are not alone.




 
buttonscrapper 
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buttonscrapper
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04-08-14 03:01 PM - Post#4105984    
    In response to kaleidoscope

  • kaleidoscope Said:
They say a joy shared is a joy doubled and a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved. And it's very true.
Something happy feels even better when you can share that happiness with someone.
And while it still hurts, when you share your hurts with someone else who sympathizes it does help because you are not alone.







This is so true!!

Edited by buttonscrapper on 04-08-14 03:01 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.

 
RedSquirrel 
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04-08-14 03:33 PM - Post#4105986    
    In response to buttonscrapper

Thank you for sharing these things with us. I hope it helps you to get them out in the open too.

 
3 Little Ladies 
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3 Little Ladies
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04-08-14 04:04 PM - Post#4105988    
    In response to RedSquirrel

That is true Tam. It does help to share Rosey.

I've been browsing through YoungWidows.com a bit too. Just reading, haven't joined. It helps too.

Ryan's Place is also an option for us. http://www.ryans-place.org/publishsite/index.cfm?C... I've been discussing it with the girls, but they're not ready yet. Ryan's Place started a group at Abby's school a couple of weeks ago and she enjoys it. It's sad that they have enough students for a group like this, but I'm glad she has the support extra at school.

The founders of Ryan's Place are actually my neighbors parents. Ryan was my neighbors brother. They've been talking to me about checking it out for awhile now. My neighbor graduated with Phil.



 
rottiefan 
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04-08-14 04:43 PM - Post#4105990    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies

I like that saying too Tam.

 
Oscar T. Grouch 
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04-08-14 04:57 PM - Post#4105994    
    In response to rottiefan

Jen I think the clothing aspect is done by all kids.
Neither alexisor Austin would re-wear the clothing they wore for Grandma Lilly's funeral.

Alexis had issues with redoing an activity tht was going on when I SCA'd.

Hugs

 
JennK 
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JennK
Reg: 06-19-03

04-08-14 05:46 PM - Post#4105996    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies



 
3 Little Ladies 
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3 Little Ladies
Reg: 03-10-05

04-08-14 06:24 PM - Post#4105998    
    In response to JennK

I guess that's the difference between children and adults. I can vividly remember many things from that day, but what I was wearing just didn't register for me.


 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
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04-08-14 06:29 PM - Post#4106000    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies

I was 14 when my father died and there when he had his heart attack. I haven't the slightest clue what I was wearing and I know it didn't occur to me either. Like, oh, I was wearing this on that day.
And some adults might. Like everything else, it just depends on the person.

 
scrappinmamma 
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scrappinmamma
Reg: 01-07-07

04-08-14 06:40 PM - Post#4106002    
    In response to kaleidoscope

I also like Tam's saying. I know it's interesting what each of us remembers in the moment of true pain and despair. I'm glad you are reading that website Jen and that it is helping you.

I'm sorry about your neighbor's brother. Maybe in time, the girls will want to read the site. I'm glad that you live in a community that is very compassionate.

 
qaustriangirl 
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qaustriangirl
Reg: 05-27-05

04-08-14 10:52 PM - Post#4106012    
    In response to scrappinmamma

Thanks for sharing all your stories! You are doing so great in this time, how you deal with everything that is going on now. your girls have good luck that they have a mom like you.
I like Tam's saying too, because I know it is true.
Natascha would remember the clothes too, she always remembers who wore which clothes in times to remember - good or bad. I would not.

 
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