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Username Post: Christmas. Ugh.        (Topic#328380)
RedSquirrel 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 32480
RedSquirrel
Reg: 06-13-08

10-03-13 02:59 AM - Post#4080702    

Well that was a nice start to the day.

Last year we had Mum and my brother to stay for a few days over Christmas, and I cooked for them and the ILs, so we had 6 for dinner. Mum hurt her knee and was not very mobile most of the time. All except the ILs are dairy-free, wheat-free. It was hard work.

This year DH and the ILs thought it wouldn't be fair on me to host again, so they suggested we went to a pub for Christmas lunch, and on Monday they found a nice place they wanted to go to. Tuesday they said if all of us were happy, we should book it soon, before my brother goes on holiday this weekend. I e-mailed the menu to Mum and my brother Tuesday night.

This morning Mum rang, all in a tizz because it wasn't fair making them choose at such short notice, and there was "nothing" they could eat anyway. 45 minutes later after I had dissected the menu with her, and pointed out where foods could be left out or substituted and she still wasn't happy about paying a high price for not much food, I got cross.

I pointed out that this was one meal, and what we were paying for was not the food, it was the crackers and silly hats and jokes, and the family togetherness, and having someone else cook and wash up - the food was secondary. I would feed them a good breakfast before they went, and a good dinner when they got home, I would feed them worry-free food all the rest of their stay, and I was starting to wish I hadn't invited them. That wasn't nice of me, was it?

Suddenly Mum backed down and admitted that she was so bothered about the menu that she had forgotten about that part. She apologised and told me all the other things that had been stressing her, and I soothed and made her laugh and she went away happy. Me? I'm all jangled now!

Pfft. Christmas. I'm fed up with it already.

 
Beth Ann 
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 15485
Beth Ann
Reg: 01-23-03

10-03-13 05:12 AM - Post#4080708    
    In response to RedSquirrel

And that, my dear, is the beginning of a TRUE family Christmas!

Now all you need is to spend hours choosing, buying or making, and wrapping gifts, only to leave the recipients unhappy.

Hugs!

 
hockeymom24 
SJ Diva
Posts: 5033
hockeymom24
Reg: 04-03-11

10-03-13 06:01 AM - Post#4080710    
    In response to Beth Ann

I was reading it and thinking did I miss something? did Christmas happen already? and then it clued in that you guys were trying to figure out plans! hope it gets better from here on in.

 
carpe scrapum 
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 15990
carpe scrapum
Reg: 12-27-05

10-03-13 07:05 AM - Post#4080726    
    In response to hockeymom24

This is exactly why I'm dreading Christmas already... I'm so sick of all the crabby people in our family. I hope your plans come together nicely. It's very nice of you to have your family stay with you, I sure couldn't deal LOL lucky for me we all live close and everyone goes on their merry way after a party.

 
kaleidoscope 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 27359
kaleidoscope
Reg: 02-13-09

10-03-13 07:10 AM - Post#4080730    
    In response to Beth Ann

  • Beth Ann Said:
And that, my dear, is the beginning of a TRUE family Christmas!

Now all you need is to spend hours choosing, buying or making, and wrapping gifts, only to leave the recipients unhappy.

Hugs!





Hopefully the holiday will actually go much nicer!

 
hockeymom24 
SJ Diva
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hockeymom24
Reg: 04-03-11

10-03-13 07:16 AM - Post#4080738    
    In response to kaleidoscope

we always have a family get together with supper, pictures and carol sing on the last sunday in November with the family on my dad's side of the family. it works well.

we tend to get the guilt trip for not wanting to spend Christmas with dh's family but we enjoy our own traditions but always try to get up or have them down for a day or two. so far it seems to work.

 
RedSquirrel 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 32480
RedSquirrel
Reg: 06-13-08

10-03-13 07:34 AM - Post#4080752    
    In response to kaleidoscope

My family can be hard work, I freely admit it. They hate making decisions, but aren't happy with what other people decide. When it comes to presents, they'll say there's nothing they want. My brother's typical behaviour will be to open the top of his gift, peek inside to see what it is, and then leave it wrapped. He won't say anything, just grin. He does this deliberately to be aggravating, which he can get away with at home with just his family around, but when he's with the ILs and their kids, that's just embarrassing behaviour.

He will also insist on knowing what we all want, but then get us something completely different. Last year he asked what the children wanted, then got them chocolate. They don't like chocolate. They were polite and thanked him anyway, but for goodness sake. They were 9 and 6. Why not just get them what they asked for?

OK. I think I need to stop now. I'm going to have to relive this in nearly 3 months. I don't need to spend a quarter of the year getting stressed over a few days.

 
scrapanda 
SJ Diva
Posts: 7146
scrapanda
Reg: 03-04-07

10-03-13 07:37 AM - Post#4080756    
    In response to carpe scrapum

  • carpe scrapum Said:
This is exactly why I'm dreading Christmas already... I'm so sick of all the crabby people in our family. I hope your plans come together nicely. It's very nice of you to have your family stay with you, I sure couldn't deal LOL lucky for me we all live close and everyone goes on their merry way after a party.



THIS. Well in dh's family! My mom is pretty easygoing and I don't have any siblings.



 
carpe scrapum 
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 15990
carpe scrapum
Reg: 12-27-05

10-03-13 07:44 AM - Post#4080762    
    In response to scrapanda

Same here Amanda, it's Greg's side that gives me heartburn.

 
kaleidoscope 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 27359
kaleidoscope
Reg: 02-13-09

10-03-13 08:58 AM - Post#4080772    
    In response to carpe scrapum

Rosey, maybe you need to instruct them all in reverse psychology. Tell your brother I want this. I don't like this. LOL

 
scaredycat 
SJ Aficionada
Posts: 956
scaredycat
Reg: 09-04-09

10-03-13 09:01 AM - Post#4080778    
    In response to carpe scrapum

THIS is exactly why we live so far away from family. I love both my family and DH family dearly, but the holidays bring out the worst! Our first Christmas was an absolute nightmare. DH and I were forced to run back and forth across town because no one would budge on traditions. We were run ragged and in the end no one was happy because "it wasn't the same". Well, no joke. After that we swore off going home for the holidays.

We do have an open door policy though - anyone and everyone is welcome to come to Colorado and celebrate with us....our way, lol. Only my mom has taken us up on the offer - twice in 19 years.

 
DeblynA 
SJ Eloquent One
Posts: 4471
DeblynA
Reg: 08-18-02

10-03-13 09:46 AM - Post#4080802    
    In response to scaredycat

When DH & I were newlyweds we told the families we would spend Thanksgiving with DH parents & Christmas with my parents, and the next year switch. This worked great until the little ones arrived and then my mom passed, and everything changed.

My MIL preferred to have Thanksgiving dinner over Christmas, perfect new family tradition for us and we always look forward to the gathering. Although now instead of dinner at Grandma's, grandma would prefer to make reservations at a favorite restaurant, she finds it more enjoyable and no clean-up required.

My brother & his then wife would invite us to her family's Christmas gathering, but then sit down to eat before we would arrive. We were told what time to be there by, and would be early, because I hate to be late, yet we always arrived when dinner was finished and being cleared. First time I thought I wrote the time down wrong. Second time, I called my brother on it saying how rude it was not to wait for all invited guests. Third invite I turned them down.

We have held Christmas in our home for 25 years, and have always had an open invitation that anyone who wished to celebrate with our family was welcome. My brother & his family came once, and my DH family came a few times over the years.

Things are changing though, as this year Christmas will be at DD's house, since it will be easier with the new baby.





 
scrapanda 
SJ Diva
Posts: 7146
scrapanda
Reg: 03-04-07

10-03-13 10:15 AM - Post#4080816    
    In response to DeblynA

We're going to do the open door policy this year although only my mom knows about it so far. Normally we take her and go to dh's parents farm. I do love being out at the farm for the environment but his sister is SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN. She has moved back home (she's older than dh) and everything is about her. I cannot recall a time EVER when there has been any type of gathering at the farm where she has not pitched a fit. The air is always full of tension when she is there because everyone is just waiting for her to blow up over something random. We just simply did not have fun last year because of that and several other reasons so dh said this year we will have my mom up here and do Christmas at our house. If his family wants to come then fine but if not that is fine too. We aren't travelling all that way with a baby, my mom and two dogs and all the supplies and such we need for all that to not have a good time. We will go up probably one day over the holidays for a day trip to see his grandparents and aunts/uncles but not on christmas or boxing day.

 
kaleidoscope 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 27359
kaleidoscope
Reg: 02-13-09

10-03-13 10:18 AM - Post#4080822    
    In response to scrapanda

I haven't had any Christmas with my mother since I was 18 years old.
And I don't even get a card.

 
RedSquirrel 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 32480
RedSquirrel
Reg: 06-13-08

10-03-13 11:52 AM - Post#4080830    
    In response to kaleidoscope



 
3 Little Ladies 
SJ Deity
Posts: 72775
3 Little Ladies
Reg: 03-10-05

10-03-13 12:41 PM - Post#4080838    
    In response to RedSquirrel

Hopefully once the plans are set everyone will be happy and things will go smoothly.

It gets more difficult to plan holidays when everyone starts to marry and have children of their own. My side is fairly easy since it's just my parents and my brother. Our children are all under 18. Dh's side is more difficult because of the adult 'children' and the adults that act like children.

I haven't even heard about Thanksgiving plans yet. Last year we did our own thing, which was fine by me. Our parents know they are always invited since they're on their own.


 
Nora 
Blue Crew Member
Posts: 53726
Nora
Reg: 01-22-03

10-04-13 06:32 PM - Post#4081112    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies

Christmas? Ahh!!! I am just trying to get through day to day right now. Thinking about Christmas will put me over the edge. Though, Char and I do know what we will be getting Chris this year-A Vitamix!!

 
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