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Username Post: spin off of spin off of Christmas        (Topic#328332)
Nora 
Blue Crew Member
Posts: 53122
Nora
Reg: 01-22-03

09-25-13 06:27 PM - Post#4080042    

My father decided last year that he wasn't giving adults gifts anymore and vice versa. We were literally exchanging gift certificates so it was ridiculous. He only buys for the grandchildren now and that is fine with me. Do your parents buy for you? At first, I was kind of upset but it is one less thing I have to worry about every year.

I would also really love to stop exchanging with my brother too. Again we only do kids. We always send GC's for his kids and an ornament, along with candy. (The candy and the ornaments are a hold over from something my grandmother used to do for us.) However, I have to buy for three, they buy for one and last year, we not only got the gift after Christmas but it was clearly from the clearance rack and not age appropriate for Char. It would have been for a girl of 6 or 7!!! No thought at all into what she would like. I don't buy even a GC without thinking specifically what kind and how much for when I do his kids. I also take HOURS picking ornaments. I have to get the "perfect" one for each kid. (crazy, I know) And I don't even ever know if my brother's kids LIKE the things we send them since we never get a thank you or even an acknowledgement if they got the package or not. What do you think? Is it mean of me to think this way?

 
scrapanda 
SJ Diva
Posts: 7145
scrapanda
Reg: 03-04-07

09-25-13 07:20 PM - Post#4080066    
    In response to Nora

I'm with you Nora. As I said in my thread I'm all about the thought in gifts and if people aren't willing to put a little thought back I'm not motivated to do so for them.

My parents and dh's parents still buy for us and us for them. However I am an only child, dh is one of three. Dh and I are the only ones married, although now BIL is engaged. We are the only ones with a child. So right now they don't have a lot to buy for. I can see if his siblings had children we'd likely push to switching to just buying for the kids. My mom has 9 siblings and when we were younger everyone just bought for kids. They didn't exchange with each other. Now with everyone's kids having kids we don't even do gifts for anyone but your own family which suits us all just fine.

Edited by scrapanda on 09-25-13 07:21 PM. Reason for edit: No reason given.

 
RedSquirrel 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 30887
RedSquirrel
Reg: 06-13-08

09-26-13 01:36 AM - Post#4080082    
    In response to scrapanda

With DH's family we all exchange gifts, but we all live locally. I covered some of the shenanigans that go on with them in the other thread.

With mine, once my cousin had her first child, we stopped buying for them and just bought for the children. Of course we have no kids so it's one-sided, but that's life.

My Mum thinks it's all ridiculous exchanging gifts, but she goes along with it anyway. I ought to take the lead and say "let's stop". My brother (who lives with her) goes out of his way to get something that we have not asked for, not what we have. He'll specifically ask what we want, then get something different. He puts a lot of thought into what he does get, but it's rarely anything usable. Families eh?

Then I have another friend (we were each bridesmaids for each other and she's a darling girl but we no longer have a lot in common) who always buys me silver jewellery. I haven't worn silver since I had my colours done in 1996, and she's been told several times. There's nothing I can say now, it's been going on too long. What she gives me at Christmas, I've been re-gifting to another silver-loving friend for her birthday. I don't wear any jewellery when I meet with my bridesmaid friend, and hopefully she will take the hint. One day.

Presents are difficult!

 
Beth Ann 
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 15437
Beth Ann
Reg: 01-23-03

09-26-13 06:34 AM - Post#4080094    
    In response to RedSquirrel

The only problem I have with "only buy for the kids" is that I VERY much encouraged my children to participate in the thinking and searching for great gifts for everyone from whom they received. I always wanted it to be more about what they gave than received.

 
hockeymom24 
SJ Eloquent One
Posts: 4445
hockeymom24
Reg: 04-03-11

09-26-13 07:09 AM - Post#4080100    
    In response to Beth Ann

when we first got married my grammie said because we were adults we no long received gifts, only gifts for the grandkids, ok so that was fine. sometimes though we get a little something from her.

my dad usually gets us a gift card or a small need.

dh's parents spend so much on each kid/grandkid. this year it is so much money and a need not a want. having a hard time with that one this year because there's a couple of things that I want but don't necessarily need. gone without for this long so why can't we go without for longer. kwim

When J was little dh's 2 siblings decided that we would do family gifts and then it turned into kid gifts (but that was hard because we didn't know the kids). well a couple of years ago we hit a huge rough spot and couldn't do much. I think I did up a recipe book for the families. Last year I did gifts for both families (homemade) and nothing was sent back. No thank you's nothing. was told that J had a gift from his cousins (he was even told) and we have yet to see it. good thing he doesn't remember.

This year I'd like to do a gift for all the nieces and nephews but we will see how things go.

 
kaleidoscope 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 26694
kaleidoscope
Reg: 02-13-09

09-26-13 08:01 AM - Post#4080106    
    In response to hockeymom24

sounds to me like it's time to stop.

My mother doesn't send squat. Not even a card. Not for Christmas, not for birthdays. I don't recall my kids EVER getting a Christmas present from her. Birthdays - maybe one or two because she was there at the time. I didn't really throw parties and send out invites. It was typically just us and my MIL a lot of the time. (Didn't matter about inviting because she would ask what we were doing.)

 
3 Little Ladies 
SJ Deity
Posts: 71783
3 Little Ladies
Reg: 03-10-05

09-26-13 09:00 AM - Post#4080120    
    In response to kaleidoscope

We try to buy a little something (or make a little something) for everyone. I go back and forth between couples gifts or individual gifts for the married family members. It just depends on my idea for that year. We splurge on our parents because they never do for themselves.

It has taken me a few years to come to this conclusion, but I've decided not to worry about what is received. I enjoy giving, so I just do my thing. We've taught our dd's that the best part of the holidays is getting together with the whole family. Well that and the yummy traditional foods and treats.

 
Nora 
Blue Crew Member
Posts: 53122
Nora
Reg: 01-22-03

09-26-13 03:36 PM - Post#4080170    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies

  • 3 Little Ladies Said:
We try to buy a little something (or make a little something) for everyone. I go back and forth between couples gifts or individual gifts for the married family members. It just depends on my idea for that year. We splurge on our parents because they never do for themselves.

It has taken me a few years to come to this conclusion, but I've decided not to worry about what is received. I enjoy giving, so I just do my thing. We've taught our dd's that the best part of the holidays is getting together with the whole family. Well that and the yummy traditional foods and treats.



That is nice of you Jen. I wish I could be more like this but to be honest, I am not. I would rather give the money to charity then give to people who don't appreciate it.


 
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