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Username Post: Mean girls grrrrr        (Topic#325751)
michann 
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michann
Reg: 01-09-06

03-05-13 06:53 PM - Post#4050757    

I went to Jenna's classroom at last recess to show her the pic of her new cousin. They had decided not to find out if it was a boy or a girl, so Jenna was excited to find out. Anyway, she looked upset and was writing a note to her teacher, so I told her to come to my room when she was done. She walked down with me and started crying. She said that there are 2 girls that don't like each other and they've formed groups and if she plays with girl A, group B won't play with her or be friends. If she plays with girl B, then group A won't play with her. These groups are formed around some girls who have gone to the same school since K, but they made it into the Spectrum program. Jenna isn't the only student who is new to the school, as they accept students into the program from the other area schools, but a lot of them started last year. Jenna is one of the few who will actually tell Girl A and Girl B that she wants to be friends with both and she can play with different girls/groups at different times, and of course the lead girls don't like that and they're starting to tell others not to play with her.

Jenna has always had a tender heart and notices the kids who are left out and tries to play with them and that's just multiplied the problem. The teacher knows about this certain group of girls, and is frustrated with them as well. The problem is, since it's the Spectrum program, she'll be with the same group for 5th and 6th grade, in the same class. She loves the extra push to do more and learn more, but I worry that these girls are going to break her spirit.

 
HollerinRat 
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HollerinRat
Reg: 02-19-05

03-05-13 07:30 PM - Post#4050765    
    In response to michann

Poor sweetie. So sorry she is having to deal with that. I see it a lot at my school too. So sad.

 
scrapanda 
SJ Diva
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scrapanda
Reg: 03-04-07

03-05-13 07:43 PM - Post#4050767    
    In response to HollerinRat

Good for her for trying to include everyone! I hate that some kids are so mean!

 
WorkingMommy 
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WorkingMommy
Reg: 04-15-07

03-05-13 09:07 PM - Post#4050781    
    In response to scrapanda

Some of that was happening in DD's class last fall. The principal intervened big time -- she considered it "gang" behavior which apparently turned it into a really big deal. They had a social worker intervention, two of the girls got lunch detention, and one girl got moved into a different classroom.

I realize this is not what is normally thought of as gang behavior, but it can certainly be destructive. That was early in the school year and my DD says it has not happened again. I am sure the parents of the girls involved thought the Principal was over-reacting, but I don't. It stopped and that's what matters.

 
gingersfavorite 
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gingersfavorite
Reg: 08-13-07

03-05-13 09:18 PM - Post#4050785    
    In response to WorkingMommy

s.u.c.k.s.!

 
Kazzam 
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Kazzam
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03-05-13 10:15 PM - Post#4050797    
    In response to gingersfavorite

So sorry to hear that Jenna is having a hard time. The principal or school staff needs to step in as it is a form of bullying.

My DD experienced this type of behaviour when she was in Grade 6. Her teacher was fantastic keeping the exclusion behaviour under control in the classroom but at lunch breaks, it got really bad. In the end the girls who were being targeted for exclusion decided to hang around together and became good friends. Because they didn't rise to the baiting of the bullies the bully group lost interest in targeting them. It was a hard couple of months with lots of talks about not showing emotions that could use against them. I hope the school steps in to squash this behaviour.

 
michann 
Scrapjazz Contributor
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michann
Reg: 01-09-06

03-05-13 10:46 PM - Post#4050801    
    In response to Kazzam

I work at the same school and I know the teacher is quite frustrated with the group of girls. As for support outside the classroom...our school has 600 kids with 1 principal, and a part time counselor and part time psychologist - all supposed to handle all the IEPs, 504s, observations, monthly class lessons, etc. It's not a excuse as to why more hasn't been done, but I know where the teacher is coming from. Unless there's a threat of bodily harm, it's not high up on the pole when the principal has 2 kids in her office for major things and the psych is off and the counselor is at his other school. They do what they can, but unfortunately, it's a budgeting problem. I will be talking with the counselor tomorrow about it as he's asked me directly to let him know. The teacher did talk with Jenna and they formed a plan kind of like you said Kaz. It'll be a good learning experience for Jenna and I'm going to tell her to pray for those who she has the hardest time with because it helped me when I worked with people like that. Term 3 is almost over, so we have 3 months of school left. This is the 1st time it has brought Jenna to tears.

 
3 Little Ladies 
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3 Little Ladies
Reg: 03-10-05

03-05-13 11:08 PM - Post#4050803    
    In response to michann

I was going to suggest that she start spending time with the girls that weren't taking sides too. Hopefully the two girls causing all of this will work through their differences. Knowing little girls they will probably be over whatever 'it is' in a few weeks.

 
michann 
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michann
Reg: 01-09-06

03-05-13 11:15 PM - Post#4050807    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies

  • 3 Little Ladies Said:
I was going to suggest that she start spending time with the girls that weren't taking sides too. Hopefully the two girls causing all of this will work through their differences. Knowing little girls they will probably be over whatever 'it is' in a few weeks.



They've been this way for years, sadly. Little Hadfield and McCoys.

 
RedSquirrel 
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RedSquirrel
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03-06-13 03:54 AM - Post#4050819    
    In response to michann

Poor Jenna, and poor all the other kids who get swept up in the meanness.

Can the school separate the two ring-leaders and put them in different classes. Maybe that can be a threat to the girls? If it is possible that their education might suffer because of their behaviour, maybe the parents might step in and do something. Because it's not only the teachers' responsibility - it's their parents' as well.

 
michann 
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michann
Reg: 01-09-06

03-06-13 08:42 AM - Post#4050843    
    In response to RedSquirrel

they can't because there's only 1 class/grade level of this gifted class

 
carpe scrapum 
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carpe scrapum
Reg: 12-27-05

03-06-13 08:47 AM - Post#4050847    
    In response to michann

I'm sorry Michelle, poor Jenna.

 
RedSquirrel 
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RedSquirrel
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03-06-13 10:06 AM - Post#4050867    
    In response to carpe scrapum

How many are there in her class?

 
rottiefan 
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rottiefan
Reg: 11-03-06

03-06-13 11:46 AM - Post#4050893    
    In response to RedSquirrel

I'd say talk to the parents, but sometimes they are worse than the kids.

 
3 Little Ladies 
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3 Little Ladies
Reg: 03-10-05

03-06-13 12:36 PM - Post#4050913    
    In response to rottiefan

The parents of these two girls should get them together and help them work things out. Why make the rest of the girls in the class miserable because they don't like each other.

 
scrappinmamma 
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scrappinmamma
Reg: 01-07-07

03-06-13 02:32 PM - Post#4050927    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies

I feel sorry for Jenna! My sons have had to deal with similar situations. I try to explain that there are over 600 kids at their school; so they can make other friends.

 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
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03-06-13 02:55 PM - Post#4050929    
    In response to michann

  • michann Said:
they can't because there's only 1 class/grade level of this gifted class



Have the parents even been involved? Maybe it's time for a meeting with both girls' parents together.

 
michann 
Scrapjazz Contributor
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michann
Reg: 01-09-06

03-06-13 07:52 PM - Post#4050943    
    In response to kaleidoscope

  • kaleidoscope Said:
  • michann Said:
they can't because there's only 1 class/grade level of this gifted class



Have the parents even been involved? Maybe it's time for a meeting with both girls' parents together.



Parents have been called/emailed numerous times...

I didn't get a chance today to talk to her teacher as our times didn't line up, but my co-teacher is really good friends with her and told her how upset I was and Jenna was. Guess some other parents have called and emailed the school and there is a "Come To Jesus" meeting set up with parents of one of the girls for tomorrow. The other girl has really been targeted and would drop it if the other would. The teacher knew it had gotten really bad when Jenna was crying as Jenna usually is good to deal with it on her own.
I did talk to our music teacher during a break about Jenna since she had asked me how Jenna was liking the school. She said that her class is extremely full of the drama more than normal. I told her that I was thinking about not having Jenna come to the school next year because of it. I'm going to talk to Jenna's teacher and the school counselor about it tomorrow since our schedules work out better.
But, Jenna did have a better day today and was playing with a couple other girls who are trying to stay out of it.

 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
Reg: 02-13-09

03-06-13 07:56 PM - Post#4050947    
    In response to michann

  • michann Said:

Parents have been called/emailed numerous times...




Not the same as a face-to-face meeting. Especially with both sitting there at the same time. Is 'shape up or ship out' an option? Because if it is, that should've been brought up before now.

 
michann 
Scrapjazz Contributor
Posts: 25018
michann
Reg: 01-09-06

03-06-13 09:12 PM - Post#4050955    
    In response to kaleidoscope

  • kaleidoscope Said:
  • michann Said:

Parents have been called/emailed numerous times...




Not the same as a face-to-face meeting. Especially with both sitting there at the same time. Is 'shape up or ship out' an option? Because if it is, that should've been brought up before now.



Yes, in fact we just got Jenna's contract for next year, I'm thinking that'll be brought up.

 
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