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Username Post: parental visitation        (Topic#325666)
madimom_04 
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 16806
madimom_04
Reg: 02-05-06

02-27-13 09:25 AM - Post#4049778    

Please tell me this gets easier!

Madilyn's dad and I are sharing custody. So, I have her wed, thurs, mon, tues, fri, sat, sun...then the next 2 weeks I would have her the opposite days. It works for us because she doesn't go more than a couple days without seeing each of us.

BUT...how do I get past feeling like crap when she isn't with me. I know she needs to spend time with her dad, and I don't want to take that away from her. But, she should be with me, ya know. I find that I am sleeping a lot when she's gone. I have all the ambition in the world, but don't really do anything. I get a lot more done when she is there and we are in our routine.

Please, please, tell me that this gets better...that is gets easier.


 
hockeymom24 
SJ Diva
Posts: 5037
hockeymom24
Reg: 04-03-11

02-27-13 09:31 AM - Post#4049780    
    In response to madimom_04

do you call her at least once when she's at her dad's? maybe that would help if you don't already and vice versa.

i can't tell you it gets any easier because we don't even get time with dh's daughter. even though we have a court order. dh is heart broken over it but what hurts worse is family members getting time with his daughter and not even letting us know when. that's what hurts worse than anything.


 
3 Little Ladies 
SJ Deity
Posts: 72782
3 Little Ladies
Reg: 03-10-05

02-27-13 09:34 AM - Post#4049782    
    In response to hockeymom24

I hope it gets easier for you. Maybe just give the schedule some time.

 
Grandma to 3 
SJ Aficionada
Posts: 902
Grandma to 3
Reg: 06-15-10

02-27-13 09:41 AM - Post#4049786    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies

I have no experience in custody issues -- I didn't declare a father when my son was born. So I didn't have to deal with it.

But I wanted to send out hugs to you. That has got to be hard.

 
RedSquirrel 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 32498
RedSquirrel
Reg: 06-13-08

02-27-13 11:17 AM - Post#4049816    
    In response to Grandma to 3

I'm sure it will settle down. How is Madilyn coping?

 
madimom_04 
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 16806
madimom_04
Reg: 02-05-06

02-27-13 12:11 PM - Post#4049824    
    In response to RedSquirrel

I actually call her at least once a day. Usually in the morning before school, but ALWAYS at night before bed. And sometimes she calls me.

She is adapting wonderfully. Sometimes she comes home really really tired. Her dad isn't as good at the routine thing as I am. That was definitely my job when we were together. And when she comes home, she wants to stay at home. She doesn't want to run errands or anything. I think that her dad takes her out to eat a lot. I don't think they spend anytime just relaxing. But I am ok with that. I do most of my running around when she's gone.

 
RedSquirrel 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 32498
RedSquirrel
Reg: 06-13-08

02-27-13 12:33 PM - Post#4049826    
    In response to madimom_04

It sounds like a great compromise Becky, you're doing really well for her. I'm sure you'll get used to it all.

 
qaustriangirl 
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 11570
qaustriangirl
Reg: 05-27-05

02-28-13 12:06 AM - Post#4049886    
    In response to RedSquirrel

I don't know if it gets better, but I hope for you

 
madimom_04 
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 16806
madimom_04
Reg: 02-05-06

02-28-13 10:04 AM - Post#4049916    
    In response to qaustriangirl

Thanks ladies. She came home last night. She sat on the couch next to me, holding my hand for over an hour. Then about 5 am she crawled in bed with me because "she missed me" It breaks my heart! But I know that zhe is a strong girl and will be a better woman because of the lessons we are learning right now.


 
RedSquirrel 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 32498
RedSquirrel
Reg: 06-13-08

02-28-13 10:15 AM - Post#4049918    
    In response to madimom_04

She IS strong. Stronger than you realise. How lovely that she's so affectionate. Does she enjoy being with her dad as well? I do hope so.

 
rottiefan 
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Posts: 18027
rottiefan
Reg: 11-03-06

02-28-13 10:41 AM - Post#4049926    
    In response to RedSquirrel

Yeah that's the most important thing that she is enjoying being with her dad. I hope it gets easier for you.

 
madimom_04 
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 16806
madimom_04
Reg: 02-05-06

02-28-13 11:04 AM - Post#4049930    
    In response to rottiefan

She does enjoy being with her dad. And I know that is the most important thing! Doesn't make me feel any better about it though!


 
RedSquirrel 
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 32498
RedSquirrel
Reg: 06-13-08

02-28-13 11:20 AM - Post#4049938    
    In response to madimom_04

Don't you enjoy the "me" time though? Are you scrapping again?

 
madimom_04 
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 16806
madimom_04
Reg: 02-05-06

02-28-13 12:55 PM - Post#4049948    
    In response to RedSquirrel

yes. and no, no scrapping yet!

 
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