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Username Post: I probably made Aiden's teacher mad :/        (Topic#323516)
Kimberly M 
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Kimberly M
Reg: 07-22-08

11-15-12 02:03 PM - Post#4026050    
    In response to gingersfavorite

I honestly have nothing but good things to say about his teacher. I think she's just a very in charge type of person and wasn't happy for me to make a suggestion. But he's mine to protect even if I have to make a few sore toes along the way.

 
Beth Ann 
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Beth Ann
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11-15-12 03:03 PM - Post#4026070    
    In response to Kimberly M

so glad it was smoother today!

 
moxiegirl23 
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11-15-12 03:36 PM - Post#4026072    
    In response to Beth Ann

I would feel bad for causing trouble for the teacher if it was just my kid that was affected, but the sticking point for me was that you said multiple kids were having this issue and that bothers me because all the special ed teachers I know have procedures in place to prevent as many meltdowns as possible.

 
MindySue 
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11-15-12 05:22 PM - Post#4026080    
    In response to moxiegirl23

I am so glad things went well today. I know its hard when the teacher doesn't see your point of view.

 
scrappydappydoodler 
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11-16-12 07:44 AM - Post#4026134    
    In response to MindySue

You would think that a special education teacher would be more flexible. Children are unpredictable no matter what their ability. Grown up have to know how to adapt. We have those skills, children don't. Maybe it's a control issue with her or maybe it was her idea and she wants to make sure it works. Never know. Good that you could get it fixed. Hope the other moms do the same.

 
RedSquirrel 
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RedSquirrel
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11-16-12 08:19 AM - Post#4026144    
    In response to scrappydappydoodler

I was wondering the same as Carmen. If the teacher is excellent in other ways, could she be covering up for a directive from higher up that she doesn't agree with, but she has to be loyal to her boss?

 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
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11-16-12 08:27 AM - Post#4026150    
    In response to RedSquirrel

I doubt it Rosey. If the teacher was told this is how we want you to release the kids then she could have just said so to Kim.

 
RedSquirrel 
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11-16-12 08:44 AM - Post#4026154    
    In response to kaleidoscope

If it was a request from another parent and there was a confidentiality issue involved maybe? I don't know. I'm trying to play devil's advocate, as the teacher seems to have her head screwed on the right way in all other ways, you know?

Kim, I'm just very pleased that you had the wit to know what was causing the problem, and the courage to push to get it sorted. Aiden's a lucky little man having you as his momma.

 
kaleidoscope 
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11-16-12 09:13 AM - Post#4026164    
    In response to RedSquirrel

  • Quote:
the teacher seems to have her head screwed on the right way in all other ways, you know?




well, everyone has to have their head screwy somewhere.

 
Kimberly M 
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Kimberly M
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11-16-12 10:23 AM - Post#4026168    
    In response to RedSquirrel

  • RedSquirrel Said:
If it was a request from another parent and there was a confidentiality issue involved maybe? I don't know. I'm trying to play devil's advocate, as the teacher seems to have her head screwed on the right way in all other ways, you know?

Kim, I'm just very pleased that you had the wit to know what was causing the problem, and the courage to push to get it sorted. Aiden's a lucky little man having you as his momma.




I can't imagine how it would effect one of the other kids but I guess it's possible. We pick him up at 2:00 and there are only four kids left at that point. The other 16 ride the bus home and leave at 1:45. Yesterday one of the Aides was with him in the lobby when we came in, no other of the kids around. They were all back in the classroom. They have six Aides so It wouldn't seem like it was leaving them short handed for the other three. I sincerely am not one to cause trouble but if you could have seen him on the way home those days you would understand better why it was so important to me to get this corrected for him. We went through a year or more of him screaming, banging his head, crying until he vomits, clawing at his skin at the least frustration and we have FINALLY gotten that under control to where it's a rarity...I can't put him through that again. I don't think I can go through that again, especially since she didn't think it was important enough to give me a reason why we must endure it. If it was something she couldn't discuss she could have said so...it's necessary but not something I can discuss.

 
Nora 
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Nora
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11-17-12 01:37 PM - Post#4026402    
    In response to Kimberly M

Having worked in a lot of schools, often these things do come from higher then the teacher. It could be kids and adults walking past classrooms in the hall disturb the other classrooms? Other teachers could have complained about this? I am just playing devil's advocate here. And I very rarely throw my boss under the bus if it is a directive from above when someone questions me. I just say it is a rule.

Often rules like this seem stupid to parents but there is some method to the madness behind it, whether you agree or not.

For example, at the HS where I work, parents are NOT supposed to drop kids off in the front of the school in the morning or park and wait for kids at dismissal. This area is for the special ed vans that drop off and pick up the kids. Do you know how many parents ignore this? It burns me because last year a parent hit one of the busses WITH students in it. All because going behind the gym where they are supposed to go is too inconvenient. I don't do dismissal anymore but we used to have to go up to cars and tell them to move so the vans had room to park and wait. Again, there is a reason for this rule but most parents just see it as an inconvenience. (I am not saying that is what you thought but just how things are where I work. I know things are hard for Aiden.)

It seems that you solved it and everything is now all right. I am glad that everything worked out.

 
Kimberly M 
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Kimberly M
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11-17-12 02:13 PM - Post#4026408    
    In response to Nora

Oh I don't pretend to know all the things involved in taking care of a school of students but I have to be MY child's biggest advocate. I realize the most important thing to the school is the good of the whole, as it should be, but we are supposed to work together on things like this and find a compromise. I would never ask for something or push for a change that would put another child at risk, but it's going to take a lot more than "because I say so" for me to allow him to endure an unnecessary shove over the edge. I thought that was the point of having a "special needs" class to make allowances for issues like this. He hasn't learned to control the way his brain reacts to stressful situations and he may never be able to do that. Thankfully it was worked out and if his teachers hate me so be it, I suspect I've got a long road of upsetting teachers ahead of me.

 
kaleidoscope 
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11-17-12 02:30 PM - Post#4026410    
    In response to Kimberly M

  • Kimberly M Said:
, but it's going to take a lot more than "because I say so"



I think that was part of the problem. You don't just tell people no without a valid reason.

 
MindySue 
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11-17-12 04:40 PM - Post#4026446    
    In response to Kimberly M

  • Kimberly M Said:
I suspect I've got a long road of upsetting teachers ahead of me.



That is how I feel too - especially after what I saw on Halloween with my son. I have realized that even if the teacher thinks they have things right, as a parent, we have a different perspective, and it takes working together to get on the same page. and that takes time

 
Nora 
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Nora
Reg: 01-22-03

11-18-12 12:18 PM - Post#4026494    
    In response to gingersfavorite

Oh dear. I wasn't criticizing you Kimberly-just playing devil's advocate. I would have done the SAME THING!!! I am just saying that sometimes it comes from above. Many times it does take a parent complaint for things to change. Parents SHOULD speak up!! Believe me, there are some really dumb rules out there that I wish parents would take a stand on!!

 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
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11-18-12 01:30 PM - Post#4026506    
    In response to Nora

  • Nora Said:
Oh dear. I wasn't criticizing you Kimberly-just playing devil's advocate. I would have done the SAME THING!!! I am just saying that sometimes it comes from above. Many times it does take a parent complaint for things to change. Parents SHOULD speak up!! Believe me, there are some really dumb rules out there that I wish parents would take a stand on!!



but if it comes from above then you should say so. "I'm sorry. I was told this is the new rule. If you want to do something differently, you'll have to speak with so-n-so." I don't think it's 'throwing your boss under the bus' when they have the power to change a rule you didn't make. If you made the rule, own up to it and explain why. There's always a chance a compromise could be worked out without needing to go over someone's head and causing more animosity.

 
Nora 
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Nora
Reg: 01-22-03

11-18-12 02:37 PM - Post#4026514    
    In response to kaleidoscope

You would think that it was OK to do that but I have worked in situations when the teacher got black balled for doing this and eventually was forced out. It was in a private school I worked at. If the teacher didn't have tenure, she might not have. I am not saying it is right or not.



 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
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11-18-12 06:05 PM - Post#4026560    
    In response to Nora

No, it's not right. Jerks. The thing is, you'll just end up with a parent going over the teacher's head anyway AND creating more animosity.

Too much political crap is one of the reasons I chose not to continue going to school for ed.

 
Nora 
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Nora
Reg: 01-22-03

11-18-12 07:20 PM - Post#4026566    
    In response to kaleidoscope

One of the reasons I am a para not a teacher, though I almost have a masters in Spec Ed! I stopped because I knew I couldn't deal with being pulled from both end. I don't like the political crap either!! I can pretty much stay away from it and have the teacher deal with it. As long as I am doing my job (which I have to say, I am good at) I am good.

 
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