Kimberly M
SJ Diva
Posts: 8904
Reg: 07-22-08
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11-15-12 10:10 AM - Post#4025978
The way Aiden's school is set up, the special needs pre-school has their own fenced in playground with direct access from inside the classroom. In the mornings when I drop Aiden off we go through the main school building, the office is right in front, they give me a visitor tag and I walk Aiden all the way inside his room. During the warm months the little ones are on the playground when it's time for pickup so we just come to the playground gate and the teacher comes and lets them out.
Now fast forward to the colder months. They told us to keep coming to the playground gate and they would watch for the parents in the afternoon and bring the kids out as we show up. Do you see where I'm going with this? For the last couple of weeks alllll of the kids, not just Aiden have been in serious melt down mode when it comes time to pick them up. They go out into the playground thinking Hey! Time to play only to be disappointed. Several times I've had to actually pull over halfway home to try to get Aiden calmed down. Yes I know it sounds like he's just being bratty but that's really not the case. If he gets something in his head that is "supposed" to happen and it doesn't....sooooo not good.
Anyway, I mentioned to his teacher two weeks ago if maybe I could come inside and pick him up and take him out through the school in the afternoons instead of them taking him through the playground. She said no, no reason, no other better solution. So I just sort of bit my tongue but after Tuesday I was fed up. Four of the little ones came out at the same time and they were literally having to drag them kicking and screaming. They were holding on to the playground equipment...it was awful. Again on the way home I had to pull over but this time Aiden made himself throw up.
Well this morning I asked to talk to his Teacher again and I told her what had happened and I asked again if we could come up with another solution. I was totally shut down. So as much as I hated to do it I went to the office and asked to speak with the principal. I apologized all over myself and kept telling her how much I like Aiden's teacher I just really needed to find a way that this wasn't so difficult for Aiden. She agreed there was no reason why I couldn't just pick him up from inside from now on and told me she would take care of it. I hope I did the right thing. I hate the idea of putting someone in a bad spot at their job.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
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hockeymom24
SJ Eloquent One
Posts: 3450
Reg: 04-03-11
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11-15-12 10:21 AM - Post#4025980
In response to Kimberly M
you did the right thing... the teacher wasn't willing to work with you so if the problem wasn't solved then you needed to go higher up. way to go! hopefully tonight's pick up will go much smoother.
Mom to 1 precious boy! He loves hockey.
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carpe scrapum
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 14344
Reg: 12-27-05
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11-15-12 10:28 AM - Post#4025982
In response to hockeymom24
Stepping around an unwilling teacher is a non issue for me if I have tried time and again to solve a problem. I have not had to do this yet but I wouldn't hesitate if my kid was suffering as a result of not looking at different solutions. No need for aiden to go through the stress of not understanding why he can't play. Enough challenges are faced daily for him in my opinion.
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Kimberly M
SJ Diva
Posts: 8904
Reg: 07-22-08
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11-15-12 10:31 AM - Post#4025984
In response to carpe scrapum
We have just worked SO hard over this past year to curb the epic melt downs. We went from daily issues to maybe once or twice a month. That is such a huge blessing! We have a better understanding of how different situations effect him and I can't stand the idea of putting him through this for no good reason.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
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kaleidoscope
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 25436
Reg: 02-13-09
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11-15-12 10:54 AM - Post#4025986
In response to Kimberly M
I wouldn't have taken no for an answer the first time. She's lucky she deals with you and not me. 
Friends aren't people you particularly like for any special reason. You just like people because they're your friends.
Rosamunde Pilcher, The Empty House |
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Kimberly M
SJ Diva
Posts: 8904
Reg: 07-22-08
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11-15-12 10:56 AM - Post#4025988
In response to kaleidoscope
I wouldn't have taken no for an answer the first time. She's lucky she deals with you and not me.
I love you Tam lol
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
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kaleidoscope
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 25436
Reg: 02-13-09
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11-15-12 10:56 AM - Post#4025990
In response to Kimberly M
Yeah, I probably wasn't a favorite parent.
Friends aren't people you particularly like for any special reason. You just like people because they're your friends.
Rosamunde Pilcher, The Empty House |
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3 Little Ladies
SJ Deity
Posts: 69858
Reg: 03-10-05
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11-15-12 11:23 AM - Post#4025992
In response to kaleidoscope
If the teacher mentions it to you just remind her that you went to her twice asking for other solutions before you went to the principal.
You did the right thing.
Jen (*lilcamsmom)
Married to my HS sweetheart
SAHM to my 3 little ladies (14,11, & 6)
NO I'M NOT GOING TO TRY FOR A BOY!!!!!
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. -Dr. Suess
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Beth Ann
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 14823
Reg: 01-23-03
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11-15-12 11:49 AM - Post#4025994
In response to 3 Little Ladies
I wish the teacher had explained *why* she doesn't want to change the process. It may be that having a parent come to the class will set off ALL the students, and she's trying to avoid that.
How long does it take Aiden to learn new expectations? Will it cause problems that now you're walking back through the school when he has never done that before?
Could it be that a better solution would have been to ask the teacher to stop and explain to Aiden that it is now time to leave after the teacher sees you but before walking him outside?
Enjoy Life 
Beth Ann (L+Hmom)
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
~Aristotle |
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Kimberly M
SJ Diva
Posts: 8904
Reg: 07-22-08
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11-15-12 12:04 PM - Post#4025998
In response to Beth Ann
I wish the teacher had explained *why* she doesn't want to change the process. It may be that having a parent come to the class will set off ALL the students, and she's trying to avoid that.
How long does it take Aiden to learn new expectations? Will it cause problems that now you're walking back through the school when he has never done that before?
Could it be that a better solution would have been to ask the teacher to stop and explain to Aiden that it is now time to leave after the teacher sees you but before walking him outside?
If his teacher would have given me a valid reason for not wanting me to come to the classroom to pick him up I wouldn't have pushed the issue at all. Last year Aiden went to the same pre-school and we always came out through the school instead of the playground. They just started that new process this year. One of the main struggles we have is because we aren't sure how much he understands when we talk to him. We always set expectations and it rarely seems to get through to him.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
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Curly Laura
SJ Eloquent One
Posts: 4328
Reg: 07-01-07
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11-15-12 01:04 PM - Post#4026002
In response to Kimberly M
How frustrating. I agree that if she had explained that would have made a difference. I'm guessing since you asked twice she either has no reason, or has a reason that doesn't hold water (like it's just easier for her).
You did the right thing. What else could you have done? Continued to torture poor Aiden with the idea of playground time and then not getting it?
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carpe scrapum
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 14344
Reg: 12-27-05
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11-15-12 01:36 PM - Post#4026018
In response to Kimberly M
I wish the teacher had explained *why* she doesn't want to change the process. It may be that having a parent come to the class will set off ALL the students, and she's trying to avoid that.
How long does it take Aiden to learn new expectations? Will it cause problems that now you're walking back through the school when he has never done that before?
Could it be that a better solution would have been to ask the teacher to stop and explain to Aiden that it is now time to leave after the teacher sees you but before walking him outside?
If his teacher would have given me a valid reason for not wanting me to come to the classroom to pick him up I wouldn't have pushed the issue at all. Last year Aiden went to the same pre-school and we always came out through the school instead of the playground. They just started that new process this year. One of the main struggles we have is because we aren't sure how much he understands when we talk to him. We always set expectations and it rarely seems to get through to him.
Asking the teacher why you can't pick him up inside should not be your responsibility. The teacher should be proactive and let you know right away unless she was being passive aggressive, which is my gut feeling...
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Kimberly M
SJ Diva
Posts: 8904
Reg: 07-22-08
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11-15-12 01:42 PM - Post#4026022
In response to carpe scrapum
It worked out fine today when I picked him up. One of the Aides was sitting with him waiting in the vestibule as we came in. She whispered to me "I'm so glad you asked to do this, I have felt so sorry for him I could cry." He was happy and giggly all the way home. Mission accomplished.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
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carpe scrapum
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 14344
Reg: 12-27-05
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11-15-12 01:46 PM - Post#4026028
In response to Kimberly M
What about the teacher?
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Kimberly M
SJ Diva
Posts: 8904
Reg: 07-22-08
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11-15-12 01:47 PM - Post#4026030
In response to carpe scrapum
What about the teacher?
She wasn't out there, just the Aide.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
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carpe scrapum
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 14344
Reg: 12-27-05
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11-15-12 01:47 PM - Post#4026032
In response to Kimberly M
Ah
| My signature is small because Tam said so... |
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kaleidoscope
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 25436
Reg: 02-13-09
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11-15-12 01:49 PM - Post#4026034
In response to carpe scrapum
Friends aren't people you particularly like for any special reason. You just like people because they're your friends.
Rosamunde Pilcher, The Empty House |
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Just Jan
SJ Grand Poobah
Posts: 2089
Reg: 11-05-09
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11-15-12 01:54 PM - Post#4026040
In response to Curly Laura
You did the right thing, Kim. You mentioned that other children in the class have the same issue regarding the playground equipment so perhaps a definite rule should be set in place - ALL children will be picked up inside the classroom from Nov 1st to Apr 30th - no exceptions.
She sounds like an outstanding Special Ed teacher and should be familiar with the difficulty these children have with "change". Hopefully some of the other mothers spoke up too.
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3 Little Ladies
SJ Deity
Posts: 69858
Reg: 03-10-05
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11-15-12 01:58 PM - Post#4026044
In response to Just Jan
I'm glad it worked out better for you and Aiden.
Jen (*lilcamsmom)
Married to my HS sweetheart
SAHM to my 3 little ladies (14,11, & 6)
NO I'M NOT GOING TO TRY FOR A BOY!!!!!
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. -Dr. Suess
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gingersfavorite
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 45110
Reg: 08-13-07
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11-15-12 02:00 PM - Post#4026046
In response to 3 Little Ladies
 teacher should know better. Good for you mama!
my blog: sanibeldaydreams
Eliminate everything unnecessary in your life in order to put first things first.
 big C - Christ .... little c - cancer
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