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Username Post: update on the family drama...        (Topic#323474)
kaleidoscope 
SJ Queen of the Crop
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kaleidoscope
Reg: 02-13-09

11-13-12 06:57 PM - Post#4025410    

remember my family drama back in March when my mother and sister was supposed to visit and I haven't spoken to her since. My sister hasn't tried to contact me at all. My mother sent me a short email on my birthday. Happy birthday love Mom. That's it.

So my friend was up tonight to get the lawnmower and his wood chipper and stay for supper. Old family friend - known him since I was 8. Told me he just spoke to my mother the other day. I told him the story about the visit that didn't happen and the fallout. Anyway, he said she was supposed to visit him and he never saw her. Well, anyway, apparently she has moved places. He thinks it was 3 weeks ago. (His mind isn't always on the ball.) Wonder when I'll be told, if ever.

 
Kimberly M 
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Kimberly M
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11-13-12 07:02 PM - Post#4025412    
    In response to kaleidoscope

Family drama is just so crappy. No matter what happens you feel guilty even if you didn't do anything wrong. I hope she wakes up soon and stops missing out on time with her great daughter.

 
gingersfavorite 
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gingersfavorite
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11-13-12 07:38 PM - Post#4025414    
    In response to Kimberly M

well that's stinky!

 
scrappinmamma 
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scrappinmamma
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11-13-12 10:31 PM - Post#4025452    
    In response to gingersfavorite

Sorry Tam.... That is just crappy!

 
RedSquirrel 
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RedSquirrel
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11-14-12 01:45 AM - Post#4025476    
    In response to scrappinmamma

Oh Tam.

Did you answer her birthday email? Have you been in touch with her?

 
kaleidoscope 
SJ Queen of the Crop
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kaleidoscope
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11-14-12 09:07 AM - Post#4025596    
    In response to RedSquirrel

I said 'thanks'. THat's it.

 
carpe scrapum 
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carpe scrapum
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11-14-12 09:10 AM - Post#4025604    
    In response to kaleidoscope

That has to squeeze at your heart a little. I'm sorry, I hope they turn around and change things.

 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
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11-14-12 09:12 AM - Post#4025606    
    In response to carpe scrapum

I am stubborn.

 
3 Little Ladies 
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3 Little Ladies
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11-14-12 09:19 AM - Post#4025614    
    In response to kaleidoscope

It's pretty sad when 'friends' know more about your family then you do, but I get it. I have family members like this.

Actually, my fil found out that his sister died last year through a friend of a friend. Imagine their surprise when he had no idea. Sad.

 
RedSquirrel 
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RedSquirrel
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11-14-12 09:26 AM - Post#4025628    
    In response to kaleidoscope

Well I can see where you get that from!

One of you needs to unbend and start the communication up again. Why don't you be the bigger person and take up that challenge?

 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
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11-14-12 03:45 PM - Post#4025782    
    In response to RedSquirrel

wow, Jen. Were they estranged? My maternal aunt found out their brother died about a year after it happened. I can't quite remember how - looking something up? I guess he didn't even want his wife to bother letting any of them know.

I'm going to stick to being stubborn.

 
RedSquirrel 
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11-14-12 04:41 PM - Post#4025808    
    In response to kaleidoscope

Sure?

 
Kazzam 
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Kazzam
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11-14-12 04:43 PM - Post#4025814    
    In response to RedSquirrel



 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
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11-14-12 04:48 PM - Post#4025818    
    In response to Kazzam

At the moment, I'm a bit fed up with not feeling important enough.

 
Luvmyvespa 
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Luvmyvespa
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11-14-12 04:49 PM - Post#4025824    
    In response to Kazzam

Hugs, Tam.

On the side conversation...I found out I had a 3rd Japanese great uncle, I only knew of 2. All from looking at old Japanese family photos. I guess for 50 years my grandma her sister & two brothers hadn't talked to him because he did something to "dishonor" the family. My uncle who I didn't know had a daughter who contacted one of the brothers that he was very sick. My uncle made the trek to the hospital only to find he had died an hour before. How sad...to wait 50 years to make amends and then be an hour late.

 
kaleidoscope 
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kaleidoscope
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11-14-12 04:53 PM - Post#4025830    
    In response to Luvmyvespa

That is sad. (Yes, I'm still going to be stubborn. )
I don't know what the deal is between the 3 other siblings. They are full siblings. My mother is the youngest by several years. I have no idea when was the last time she saw or spoke to their brother. I have very dysfunctional roots.

 
Judge Amy 
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Judge Amy
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11-14-12 05:32 PM - Post#4025844    
    In response to kaleidoscope

Hugs Tam - I completely know where you are on this type of thing.

ok

In my family, unfortunately, we all live within 5 miles of each other and never see each other.

My sister attacked and beat up my mom one evening while bil watched and didn't help. You'd think differently but poor sis did it because she was so stressed and overwhelmed with finances and such, so mom forgave her and pays all her bills even though sis uses her kids to manipulate my mom. And mom is okay with it. For some reason everything that happened then and other issues, are all MY fault.

I have repeatedly tried to be the bigger person and forgive and reach out and now, I am just tired.

I no longer reach out, I forgive for my sake more than theirs, but I will no longer put myself in the situation as their doormat.

I'm tired of being made to feel inferior to them because I'm the one who has my life together.

So I feel ya. Forgive them and stay stubborn. It may save your sanity.


 
3 Little Ladies 
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3 Little Ladies
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11-14-12 05:55 PM - Post#4025846    
    In response to kaleidoscope

  • kaleidoscope Said:
wow, Jen. Were they estranged? My maternal aunt found out their brother died about a year after it happened. I can't quite remember how - looking something up? I guess he didn't even want his wife to bother letting any of them know.

I'm going to stick to being stubborn.



His sister lived on the west coast, but their relationship was estranged before they were even adults. His mom was the cause. Needless to say he wasn't close to his mom either. My dh doesn't remember his aunt and never met his cousins. How crazy is that?

Why do families treat each other like that? It's the same way for my mom and her brothers. The last time she saw her youngest brother was at my grandma's funeral. Her other three brothers came over when we had her birthday party in March. That's the last time she spoke to them.

I don't blame you for being stubborn though. I know how you feel. You get tired of being the one that gives in all of the time. Especially when even after you give in the effort put into the relationship STILL seems one sided. I feel that way about my brother. I love hearing from other family members how my brother spouts off about our family 'not being close.'

 
RedSquirrel 
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RedSquirrel
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11-14-12 07:16 PM - Post#4025868    
    In response to 3 Little Ladies

to everyone with awkward family relationships.

I'm so lucky. I can't imagine what it must be like. The closest my lot got to a falling-out was back in the 30s when Auntie Lily and Uncle Billy won £100 on the crossword and got "a bit above themselves". Honestly, you wouldn't make this stuff up.

 
Luvmyvespa 
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Luvmyvespa
Reg: 03-03-06

11-15-12 04:29 AM - Post#4025916    
    In response to RedSquirrel

  • RedSquirrel Said:
to everyone with awkward family relationships.

I'm so lucky. I can't imagine what it must be like. The closest my lot got to a falling-out was back in the 30s when Auntie Lily and Uncle Billy won £100 on the crossword and got "a bit above themselves". Honestly, you wouldn't make this stuff up.


That is funny..and good that that is the worst of it.

 
kaleidoscope 
SJ Queen of the Crop
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kaleidoscope
Reg: 02-13-09

11-15-12 08:47 AM - Post#4025964    
    In response to Luvmyvespa

Rosey

 
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