kaleidoscope
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 25332
Reg: 02-13-09
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11-13-12 06:57 PM - Post#4025410
remember my family drama back in March when my mother and sister was supposed to visit and I haven't spoken to her since. My sister hasn't tried to contact me at all. My mother sent me a short email on my birthday. Happy birthday love Mom. That's it.
So my friend was up tonight to get the lawnmower and his wood chipper and stay for supper. Old family friend - known him since I was 8. Told me he just spoke to my mother the other day. I told him the story about the visit that didn't happen and the fallout. Anyway, he said she was supposed to visit him and he never saw her. Well, anyway, apparently she has moved places. He thinks it was 3 weeks ago. (His mind isn't always on the ball.) Wonder when I'll be told, if ever. 
Friends aren't people you particularly like for any special reason. You just like people because they're your friends.
Rosamunde Pilcher, The Empty House |
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Kimberly M
SJ Diva
Posts: 8869
Reg: 07-22-08
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11-13-12 07:02 PM - Post#4025412
In response to kaleidoscope
Family drama is just so crappy. No matter what happens you feel guilty even if you didn't do anything wrong. I hope she wakes up soon and stops missing out on time with her great daughter.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
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gingersfavorite
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 44980
Reg: 08-13-07
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11-13-12 07:38 PM - Post#4025414
In response to Kimberly M
well that's stinky!
my blog: sanibeldaydreams
Eliminate everything unnecessary in your life in order to put first things first.
 big C - Christ .... little c - cancer
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scrappinmamma
SJ Grand Poobah
Posts: 2138
Reg: 01-07-07
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11-13-12 10:31 PM - Post#4025452
In response to gingersfavorite
Sorry Tam.... That is just crappy!
Kathleen - Happily married mom of 2 Lil Darlings!
In memory of those, we loved and lost...
Teegan, Jeannie, Janice, Ruthann and Auntie Cathy.
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RedSquirrel
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 27771
Reg: 06-13-08
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11-14-12 01:45 AM - Post#4025476
In response to scrappinmamma
Oh Tam. 
Did you answer her birthday email? Have you been in touch with her?
 Rosey's blog: Squirrel's nuts--
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"Use what talents you possess — the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." ~ Henry Van Dyke |
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kaleidoscope
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 25332
Reg: 02-13-09
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11-14-12 09:07 AM - Post#4025596
In response to RedSquirrel
I said 'thanks'. THat's it. 
Friends aren't people you particularly like for any special reason. You just like people because they're your friends.
Rosamunde Pilcher, The Empty House |
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carpe scrapum
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 14316
Reg: 12-27-05
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11-14-12 09:10 AM - Post#4025604
In response to kaleidoscope
That has to squeeze at your heart a little. I'm sorry, I hope they turn around and change things.
| My signature is small because Tam said so... |
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kaleidoscope
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 25332
Reg: 02-13-09
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11-14-12 09:12 AM - Post#4025606
In response to carpe scrapum
I am stubborn.
Friends aren't people you particularly like for any special reason. You just like people because they're your friends.
Rosamunde Pilcher, The Empty House |
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3 Little Ladies
SJ Deity
Posts: 69631
Reg: 03-10-05
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11-14-12 09:19 AM - Post#4025614
In response to kaleidoscope
It's pretty sad when 'friends' know more about your family then you do, but I get it. I have family members like this.
Actually, my fil found out that his sister died last year through a friend of a friend. Imagine their surprise when he had no idea. Sad.
Jen (*lilcamsmom)
Married to my HS sweetheart
SAHM to my 3 little ladies (13,11, & 5)
NO I'M NOT GOING TO TRY FOR A BOY!!!!!
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. -Dr. Suess
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RedSquirrel
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 27771
Reg: 06-13-08
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11-14-12 09:26 AM - Post#4025628
In response to kaleidoscope
Well I can see where you get that from! 
One of you needs to unbend and start the communication up again. Why don't you be the bigger person and take up that challenge?
Rosey's blog: Squirrel's nuts--
--------------2010 2011 2012 2013
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Cards.---------82--129---75---.42
Xmas cards---53----91---66---..1
"Use what talents you possess — the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." ~ Henry Van Dyke |
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kaleidoscope
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 25332
Reg: 02-13-09
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11-14-12 03:45 PM - Post#4025782
In response to RedSquirrel
wow, Jen. Were they estranged? My maternal aunt found out their brother died about a year after it happened. I can't quite remember how - looking something up? I guess he didn't even want his wife to bother letting any of them know.
 I'm going to stick to being stubborn.
Friends aren't people you particularly like for any special reason. You just like people because they're your friends.
Rosamunde Pilcher, The Empty House |
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RedSquirrel
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 27771
Reg: 06-13-08
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11-14-12 04:41 PM - Post#4025808
In response to kaleidoscope
Sure? 
Rosey's blog: Squirrel's nuts--
--------------2010 2011 2012 2013
Layouts-------56----45---25---.39
Cards.---------82--129---75---.42
Xmas cards---53----91---66---..1
"Use what talents you possess — the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." ~ Henry Van Dyke |
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Kazzam
SJ Diva
Posts: 7097
Reg: 01-15-06
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11-14-12 04:43 PM - Post#4025814
In response to RedSquirrel
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kaleidoscope
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 25332
Reg: 02-13-09
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11-14-12 04:48 PM - Post#4025818
In response to Kazzam
At the moment, I'm a bit fed up with not feeling important enough.
Friends aren't people you particularly like for any special reason. You just like people because they're your friends.
Rosamunde Pilcher, The Empty House |
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Luvmyvespa
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 10882
Reg: 03-03-06
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11-14-12 04:49 PM - Post#4025824
In response to Kazzam
 Hugs, Tam.
On the side conversation...I found out I had a 3rd Japanese great uncle, I only knew of 2. All from looking at old Japanese family photos. I guess for 50 years my grandma her sister & two brothers hadn't talked to him because he did something to "dishonor" the family. My uncle who I didn't know had a daughter who contacted one of the brothers that he was very sick. My uncle made the trek to the hospital only to find he had died an hour before. How sad...to wait 50 years to make amends and then be an hour late.
| Stephanie
To our children, we give two things;
one is roots, the other wings.
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kaleidoscope
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 25332
Reg: 02-13-09
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11-14-12 04:53 PM - Post#4025830
In response to Luvmyvespa
That is sad. (Yes, I'm still going to be stubborn. )
I don't know what the deal is between the 3 other siblings. They are full siblings. My mother is the youngest by several years. I have no idea when was the last time she saw or spoke to their brother. I have very dysfunctional roots.
Friends aren't people you particularly like for any special reason. You just like people because they're your friends.
Rosamunde Pilcher, The Empty House |
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Judge Amy
SJ Diva
Posts: 5542
Reg: 01-27-05
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11-14-12 05:32 PM - Post#4025844
In response to kaleidoscope
Hugs Tam - I completely know where you are on this type of thing.
ok
In my family, unfortunately, we all live within 5 miles of each other and never see each other.
My sister attacked and beat up my mom one evening while bil watched and didn't help. You'd think differently but poor sis did it because she was so stressed and overwhelmed with finances and such, so mom forgave her and pays all her bills even though sis uses her kids to manipulate my mom. And mom is okay with it. For some reason everything that happened then and other issues, are all MY fault.
I have repeatedly tried to be the bigger person and forgive and reach out and now, I am just tired.
I no longer reach out, I forgive for my sake more than theirs, but I will no longer put myself in the situation as their doormat.
I'm tired of being made to feel inferior to them because I'm the one who has my life together.
So I feel ya. Forgive them and stay stubborn. It may save your sanity.
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3 Little Ladies
SJ Deity
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Reg: 03-10-05
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11-14-12 05:55 PM - Post#4025846
In response to kaleidoscope
wow, Jen. Were they estranged? My maternal aunt found out their brother died about a year after it happened. I can't quite remember how - looking something up? I guess he didn't even want his wife to bother letting any of them know.
I'm going to stick to being stubborn.
His sister lived on the west coast, but their relationship was estranged before they were even adults. His mom was the cause. Needless to say he wasn't close to his mom either. My dh doesn't remember his aunt and never met his cousins. How crazy is that?
Why do families treat each other like that? It's the same way for my mom and her brothers. The last time she saw her youngest brother was at my grandma's funeral. Her other three brothers came over when we had her birthday party in March. That's the last time she spoke to them.
I don't blame you for being stubborn though. I know how you feel. You get tired of being the one that gives in all of the time. Especially when even after you give in the effort put into the relationship STILL seems one sided. I feel that way about my brother. I love hearing from other family members how my brother spouts off about our family 'not being close.'
Jen (*lilcamsmom)
Married to my HS sweetheart
SAHM to my 3 little ladies (13,11, & 5)
NO I'M NOT GOING TO TRY FOR A BOY!!!!!
Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. -Dr. Suess
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RedSquirrel
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 27771
Reg: 06-13-08
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11-14-12 07:16 PM - Post#4025868
In response to 3 Little Ladies
to everyone with awkward family relationships.
I'm so lucky. I can't imagine what it must be like. The closest my lot got to a falling-out was back in the 30s when Auntie Lily and Uncle Billy won £100 on the crossword and got "a bit above themselves". Honestly, you wouldn't make this stuff up.
Rosey's blog: Squirrel's nuts--
--------------2010 2011 2012 2013
Layouts-------56----45---25---.39
Cards.---------82--129---75---.42
Xmas cards---53----91---66---..1
"Use what talents you possess — the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." ~ Henry Van Dyke |
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Luvmyvespa
SJ Divalicious
Posts: 10882
Reg: 03-03-06
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11-15-12 04:29 AM - Post#4025916
In response to RedSquirrel
to everyone with awkward family relationships.
I'm so lucky. I can't imagine what it must be like. The closest my lot got to a falling-out was back in the 30s when Auntie Lily and Uncle Billy won £100 on the crossword and got "a bit above themselves". Honestly, you wouldn't make this stuff up.
That is funny..and good that that is the worst of it.
| Stephanie
To our children, we give two things;
one is roots, the other wings.
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kaleidoscope
SJ Queen of the Crop
Posts: 25332
Reg: 02-13-09
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11-15-12 08:47 AM - Post#4025964
In response to Luvmyvespa
Rosey
Friends aren't people you particularly like for any special reason. You just like people because they're your friends.
Rosamunde Pilcher, The Empty House |
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